Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)

WATCH NOW

Watch now ▶

Watch now ▶

Their clothes may change through the decades, but sassy teenagers, or rather, sassy teenage girls, never go out of style particularly in movies. Couched somewhere between the Emma like antics of the smarter than she appears Alicia Silverstone in Clueless and the put upon, low rent Natasha Lyonne in the vastly underrated The Slums of Beverly Hills, with a little dash of the biting Heathers girls, comes Lindsay Lohan cinema’s teen du jour. So appealing in Freaky Friday, Lohan continues her pluck in this frequently fun, certainly bouncy, but ultimately disappointing frolic, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, which was directed by British filmmaker Sara Sugarman who’s last film was the under seen indie Very Annie Mary.

The premise is typical, but good what happens when a popular girl is up rooted to a new school and suddenly becomes (gasp!) unpopular? Our fish out of water teen is 15 year old Mary Cep (Lohan) who calls herself Lola because, well, that’s more befitting of a drama queen (and that’s Madonna’s daughter’s nickname).

Lola’s one of those gorgeous Greenwich Village boho gals that you see simultaneously discussing the merits of the method and their collection of Jimmy Choo’s in Teen Vogue. She moves with her potter mother (Glenn Headly) to a wealthy suburb in New Jersey. But, um, like, New Jersey doesn’t have time for her kind of drama queen.

Lola’s blonde ambition of becoming an actress is met with snootiness by the preps at the school where she ends up and where, of course, she finds an arch rival in dictatorial, rich bitch Carla Santini (Megan Fox). But Lola’s not going to take this new situation lying down, and she competes with Carla for the lead in the school play a musical based on “Pygmalion” called “Liza Rocks.”

Lola also finds a friend in the mousy Ella (Alison Pill from Pieces of April), when the two learn they both dig the same rock band Sid Arthur (who bummer, dude is represented by Carla’s father). The homely friend and the comely blonde join forces to work Lola’s machinations like any good hierarchy breaking teens. But are these machinations all for the good? Will lessons be learned?

The film is a showcase for Lohan, who’s outfits are often so sexy you have a hard time believing at least the BOYS in the school wouldn’t be lining up around the mall to watch her shop the newest Forever 21 find (or rather, Frederick’s of Hollywood). There’s much to like in Lohan, but she’s not as funny as she was in Freaky Friday, most likely because she’s lacking the hilarious, seasoned Jamie Lee Curtis to bounce off of.

There are also some potentially juicier moments, particularly when Lola finally meets up with her fantasy boy, Stu (Adam Garcia), lead singer of Sid Arthur. He’s not the dreamboat poet Lola imagines, after she and Ella find him drunk, disorderly, and demanding (“cheeseburger and onion rings!”). Garcia is very funny and the scene carries a darker, more realistic tone not usually seen in modern day Disney. But of course Lola will later lecture him about the perils of drinking. Oh please. We seriously doubt he’d let some 15 year old tell him to stop partying.

Implausibilities aside, Confessions is a light lark that’s colorful, spirited, and chock full of clothes. We confess we enjoyed its fabulously dressed slender little lessons. But seriously, it’s the 13 year olds who’ll flock to this one.

To watch more movies like Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004) visit Fmovies.

Also watch

• The Constant Gardener (2005)
• Connie and Carla (2004)
• Confidence (2003)
• The Corporation (2004)
• The Corpse Bride (2005)